


Cancer Doesn't Care

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Season/Series 04, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-15
Updated: 2004-06-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin and Brian deal with some radiation effects together.





	Cancer Doesn't Care

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

His face was dotted red, and it could have been blood except when you ran your hand over his pale and cold cheek all you were left with was his sweat. Justin could taste salt when he kissed it, resting his palm on the back of Brian’s neck hoping to cool him down a little bit, but he could only focus on catching his breath. It looked as though even his eyelashes were sweating, little drops of water or maybe they were tears, drip dropped on Justin’s arms and knees as he squatted next to Brian. 

He had created a little palette in the bathroom for them, in front of the toilet and the sink. The air conditioning was their only music and it made Justin’s skin pull tight but nothing could cool Brian down. He reached to pull a wet rag down that was hanging from the sink and waved it in the air so it was colder before wiping Brian’s face with it. Whenever he was sick his mother would do the same thing and he could remember just how much better it made him feel, even for only a few seconds. 

He dabbed it over Brian’s cheeks and forehead, his eyes were closed now, finally able to breathe through his nose for just a little while. Justin could wipe away the sweat and make his face feel open and cool even if the rest of his body didn’t. But he couldn’t wipe away the dotted red that was all the blood vessels he’d popped in his face from throwing up. These were under his skin and Cancer doesn’t care if they make Brian feel ugly. Cancer doesn’t care about anything. Not whether it’s night or day, whether Brian is at work or not, Cancer doesn’t even care if Brian Kinney wants to live or die. 

“It’s so hot in here.” Brian had slumped down into the palette with a comfortable breathing pattern and new sweat bubbling up on his eyelids and nose. He wiped the corners of his mouth before opening his eyes back up to make sure Justin was still there. 

“Then let’s go for a walk, its freezing outside.” He rested the wet rag on Brian’s forehead and smoothed his hands over his shoulders that were burning. Brian sucked in some air through his nose and Justin knew it must have burned with the air conditioning up this high. 

“But it’s 2 am.” His own hands moved to his stomach and he started to rub in hopes of all the pain loosening up and going away, but Cancer doesn’t care what he wants. 

“I’ll protect you.” Justin pushed Brian’s hands away gently then started to rub his stomach himself. In big circles the way he grew to know made Brian feel the best. 

“I don’t need protecting.” Pushing Justin’s hands away, despite the way they made him feel better, he turned on his side and faced the toilet; from here he could reach out and cool his hands on the porcelain base. 

“Then you can protect me, ‘cause I need you.” He laid down behind Brian and wrapped his arm around his hip to keep rubbing his stomach. Brian’s hands were clasped tightly around the base of the toilet, so his knuckles were a bloodless white. 

“Just let me brush my teeth.” He rolled back over and let Justin kiss his salty cheek before waiting to be helped up. He stretched and yawned before stepping to the sink and beginning to brush his teeth. He was wearing nothing but the hospital boxers and Justin pulled a tee shirt and some sweat pants out of a drawer for him to put on. He himself was already wearing two pairs of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. The air conditioner continued to be their only music until they stepped out onto the sidewalk, Justin in all his winter wear and Brian, fresh breathed and continuing to sweat. 

The air was freezing as Justin had thought and he let Brian walk a little ahead of him, so he could know he was leading the way. He didn’t look back to Justin but his hand found his hip and slid until it was completely around his waist. It was reassurance for Justin, or maybe just something to hold onto. Cancer doesn’t care if Brian Kinney wants to pretend like he doesn’t need anyone. They walked slowly and didn’t talk, both thinking about the other thing that sleeps with them at night and followed them, even on their middle-of-the-night walk. 

After two blocks were behind them it started to rain. It was hot and humid rains, nothing that could make Brian feel any cooler. It was fire water when it landed on his arms and face. 

“How perfect is this.” His nails dug into Justin’s side so that he sunk into Brian as much as he could to escape them while Brian faced them towards the covered doorstep of an apartment building. The walls were grimy and the grout between the welcoming tiles brown from dirt and wear. “It’s cold enough, shouldn’t it be snowing instead?” 

“Of course not, that would make things better instead of worse. God forbid…” Justin pulled away from Brian and squatted down to bury his face in his hands. Things were bad for them, and nothing was getting any better. He wondered how long radiation lasted and would it ever come back? He needed to sit, and he knew Brian probably needed to lie down but the germs from this huddled little corridor might be enough to kill him right now. 

“Don’t cry, we could really use some sunshine right now.” Brian lowered himself down behind Justin and rested his head on his shoulder. “I don’t mind the rain if you don’t, lets go home and fall asleep on the floor of the bathroom. I’d kiss you, but cancer doesn’t care how bad my breath is.” 

“I don’t either.” Justin turned his head so that his lips were pressed against Brian’s dry and chapped ones. So chapped he might have been able to taste blood on them but he didn’t even care.


End file.
